I’ve been thinking about something for quite some time now.
I’ve debated with myself, asked myself if I really want to undertake this task, this change. After all, it’s been over 30 years. That’s a long time. What is this monumental undertaking, you ask?
I’m going to stop coloring my hair.
Now, for those of you who didn’t realize I color my hair, sorry to shock you. The red looks natural because it works well with my complexion. I did have strawberry blonde hair when I was younger but, as can happen, the color changed as I got older. In my twenties I started playing around with hair color and landed on red. There have been varying shades over the years, some darker, some lighter, but it’s still been red.
There was one thing in particular that had to happen in order for me to finally step into this idea because something else happens with age, thinning hair. For those, like me, who also have fine hair it can be quite dramatic when that hair loss happens. In women, hair loss is more stress and hormone related as opposed to the hereditary type of hair loss with men. As many of you know, I was a single parent for over 13 years and that, in and of itself, is very stressful. I wanted to start using a treatment to regrow my hair before I stopped coloring. That, my friends, finally happened.
In December I started using Keranique (no, I’m not getting paid for this plug). I should start seeing new growth in another month or two. Just after Thanksgiving of 2018 was the last time I dyed my hair, and it will indeed be the last time.
Why did I decide to do this? Well, first because I’m just tired of dying my hair every couple of months – sometimes longer if I was lazy. Second, I’m 55 and just felt it was time to see the color God gave me again. I’m excited and I’m nervous! Excited because I haven’t seen my natural hair color, apart from the roots when the color grew out a bit, in over three decades. Nervous because I haven’t seen my natural color in over three decades, lol.
It will be interesting to see other people’s reactions too, including my children. I wonder how it will affect me? Will I struggle with the change? How long will it take me to embrace it?
Another big question is: How much of my sense of self have I tied up in my hair color? I think we all do that to an extent. Not specifically with hair color but with other things like hair styles or how we apply our makeup or the shape of our bodies. I’m trying hard this year to keep my sense of self where it belongs, in God. After all, He made us who we are, gave us our physical attributes. I don’t think it’s bad to want to see ourselves with different hair color, or eye color, or change the shape of our bodies. But it’s important that we embrace what God wants us to be. Our outer appearance is easy to change, usually. It’s our inner self that takes more work. That is where the Spirit resides, where our true being comes from.
It’s not about hair color, or if we look good in a bathing suit. It’s how we express ourselves in our actions and our words. THAT is who we are, the rest is just wrapping paper.
So why does it matter to me that I have more hair? Because I am human, and a bit vain about my hair and God understands that about me, as He does about all of our vanities.
I wonder how much white I’ll have… maybe I’ll finally look my age? Thank God for good genes and aging well! (Yes, I know, I know…)