The weirdest thing happened the other day; I ran into my old college boyfriend at work. It was one of those slightly awkward moments, you know? I knew who he was and I almost didn’t say anything but as he was checking out I just couldn’t resist.
“Is your name Shane, by chance?” I asked.
“Yes…?” he said, a bit confused.
“Shane (last name withheld to protect the innocent, lol)?”
“Yes, and you are…”, he glanced down at my name tag, “Melanie!”
I wasn’t surprised that he didn’t recognize me. I have a different hair color (I was still blonde when we dated) and a bit more weight than when we last saw each other 30 years ago. He, on the other hand, aside from some grey hair and glasses, looked the same. (Maybe shorter than I remember…)
We chatted briefly, he asked how I was doing, I asked if he was still playing his music. Then we both said “It was nice to see you” and that was it. I walked away and he left the store.
I have often wondered, through the years, how he was doing, if life had treated him well. Ours was a short but intense relationship which had effected me deeply. You see, he was my first boyfriend – I hadn’t dated in high school – and my first love. When we broke up after four months I was devastated.
I thought I’d be nervous if I ever saw him again. He was a pretty straight-laced Christian at the time and I sort of led him down the path of, well, being a bit less straight-laced shall we say. As it turned out, I wasn’t nervous at all. It was just a quick, friendly meeting.
When I think about it, I realize I didn’t have another boyfriend after him until I met the man who was to be my husband. I dated, but never had a serious relationship with anyone else. It’s interesting that I never put that together before now. I’ve not had once since my divorce either, nor have I dated.
Is God trying to tell me something, is there something I’m supposed to get out of this encounter from my past, or is it just long overdue closure? I never felt like I needed more closure, but it was nice to say “Hi” one more time. I don’t know, maybe it was just one of those chance encounters. Maybe it was to make me realize I’m really happy where I am in life right now, no significant other is necessary. Who knows (well yes, I know who knows, it’s just an expression).
And I really AM happy! I’m doing more writing, hanging out with friends, talking to people daily at work, getting out of the house instead of being a hermit. I have two months left with my youngest daughter and then I’ll be an empty nester. When I think about signing up on a dating site again, or having a boyfriend, I realize I don’t really want one right now. I like being able to go where I want, when I want, do what I want at any time of day, eat whatever I want and not have to ask anyone if there are other plans that might interfere. You may think it’s selfish but I prefer to see it as liberation!
Now, none of this means I won’t miss my daughter – I missed my other two children when they left, and yes it will be an adjustment. However, this is a transition I’ve been working toward for almost twenty four years, over thirteen of those as a single parent.
So, while it was nice to see my old flame, I also realize how far I’ve come since my college days and how much I’m going to enjoy this next phase of my life!
Anyway, that’s all… time to go do, oh I don’t know… ANYTHING I WANT!!